


Sephiroth Will Make a Man Out of You

by Sephirotha



Series: Final Fantasy Crossovers [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VII, Mulan (1998)
Genre: Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:25:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephirotha/pseuds/Sephirotha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starring Sephiroth as General Shang</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sephiroth Will Make a Man Out of You

Anne swallowed softly as she watched Barret to attempt climbing the pillar to grab the arrow. He began slipping and tried to dig his teeth into the wooden pillar but failed, falling back quickly to the ground. Anne winced when she saw Reno fall just as quickly and Rude falling, causing a small earthquake. Then it was her turn but she didn’t do as well as the other men and fell heavily on her backside. Sephiroth sighed as she got up and went back into line.  
“We’ve got a long way to go,” he muttered and picked up all the fighting poles to throw at the men to catch.  
Anne was about to grab hers when Barret snatched it first then tripped her up with it. Sephiroth began to demonstrate how to use the pole.  
“Let’s get down to business.”  
Anne watched in awe as he threw two pots up into the air and smashed them before they could reach the floor.  
“To defeat, Wutai.”  
Everyone got ready for the exercise and focused on Sephiroth’s orders.   
“Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?”  
Anne was perfectly focused until Reno slipped a beetle down her back. Anne, being a bit squeamish of bugs, immediately felt it and tried to get it out of her tunic, knocking down the rest of the men in the process. Sephiroth saw her throwing her body about and vaulted over the fallen men to get to her.  
“You’re the saddest bunch I’ve ever met.”  
Anne accidentally hit him in the torso in her struggle to get the bug out of her tunic.  
“But you can bet before we’re through.”  
Anne finally got rid of the beetle and stood up to see Sephiroth’s angry face. Sephiroth snatched the pole out of her hands.  
“Mister I’ll make a man out of you.”  
In the background, Anne’s guardian dragon, Zack, attempted to attack Sephiroth whilst Cloud, Anne’s lucky cricket, held him back. Genesis ticked something off on his clipboard. The next exercise was to fire arrows through pomegranates and hit the small white circles on the tree. Sephiroth demonstrated perfectly and watched the other men attempt to do the same.  
“Tranquil as a forest but on fire within.”  
Anne was going to fire a pomegranate but Zack quickly stuck a pomegranate on her current arrow. When Sephiroth loomed over her with a displeased face, she just gave a wide nervous grin. The next exercise was up in the mountains where Sephiroth demonstrated deflecting stones thrown at him whilst balancing a bucket of water on his head.  
“Once you find your centre, you are sure to win.”  
Anne was up first and balancing the bucket of water on her head was hard enough. Then she caught the devious looks from Reno, Rude and Barret. They immediately pelted stones at her and she lost her balance, the bucket falling over her head and swung to deflect a stone that hit Rude’s belly.  
“You’re a spineless, pale, pathetic lot. And you haven’t got a clue.”  
Sephiroth frowned softly at Anne’s performance whilst Anne meekly pushed the bucket off her head. Soon Sephiroth was in the stream with Barret and Anne, demonstrating how to snatch fish swimming by. Anne attempted to do the same but accidentally grabbed Barret’s foot.  
“Somehow I’ll make a man out of you!”  
Anne gently placed Barret’s foot down while Zack quickly handed her a fish. Next was Rude and Barret dodging flaming arrows.  
“I’m never going to catch my breath!” Rude gasped.  
“Say goodbye to those who knew me!” Barret said as he was hit on his backside.  
“Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym,” Reno said as he attempted to slice a block of limestone with his head.  
Anne soon found herself doing hand to hand combat with Sephiroth and Sephiroth punched her right in the eye, giving her a black eye. She stumbled back to where Zack and Cloud helped her get back to her feet.  
“This guy’s got them scared to death!” Zack commented.  
“Hope he doesn’t see right through me,” Anne thought as she was pushed back to be beaten up more by Sephiroth.  
“Now I really wish that I know how to swim!” Rude said as he stood on a pillar in the middle of a rapidly flowing river.  
“Be a man…”  
The next exercise was firing cannons to hit targets of fake Wutai soldiers.  
“You must be swift as the coursing river.”  
Every cannon that went off completely missed the targets.  
“Be a man…”  
Reno kicked Anne’s support of the cannon away making her grab it quickly.  
“With all the force of a great typhoon.”  
Anne’s cannon went off, leaving her singed.  
“Be a man…”  
The dragon head went sailing back into the camp and landed in Genesis’s tent just as Genesis stepped out.  
“With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.”  
Sephiroth sighed in disappointment as he saw that no-one had climbed the pillar to take the arrow. The next morning they were climbing through the mountains while carrying weights.  
“Time is racing towards us until Wutai arrive.”  
Genesis pointed to the back of the line where Sephiroth saw Anne struggling with her weights to the point that she collapsed.   
“Heed my every order and you might survive.”  
Zack and Cloud immediately tried to get her up but disappeared out of sight when Sephiroth returned, took her weights away and ran off to join the others, leaving Anne to lie there and sulk. She returned to the camp late at night where Sephiroth was with Angeal, her horse.  
“You’re unsuited for the rage of war,” he said and handed her the reins “So pack up, go home, you’re through.”  
Anne sighed as she turned and walked off until she noticed the pillar with the arrow.  
“How could I make a man out of you?”  
Anne got the weights in her hands and attempted to climb the pillar only to fall back down.  
“Be a man…”  
Anne took a good look at the weights before she realised what she was meant to do with them.  
“You must be swift as the coursing river.”  
She swung the weights around the pillar and began climbing.  
“Be a man…”  
Men began to come out of their tents and saw Anne scaling the massive pillar.  
“With all the force of a great typhoon.”  
The men gathered around Anne and watched as she climbed then slipped.  
“Be a man…”  
But Anne held on and persisted to climb the pillar.  
“With all the strength of a raging fire.”  
Sephiroth came out of his tent and blinked when an arrow was thrown to his feet.  
“Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.”  
He looked up to see Anne had reached the top of the pillar and the men were cheering for her.  
“Be a man…”  
Anne was soon the one running ahead of everyone with weights.  
“You must be swift as the coursing river.”  
With her hand to hand combat she managed to knock Sephiroth down, earning an approved smile from him.  
“Be a man…”  
Rude was soon cartwheeling along the pillars through the river.  
“With all the force of a great typhoon.”  
When Sephiroth threw the poles out to everyone, Barret still snatched Anne’s before she could but handed it to her with a friendly smile.  
“Be a man…”  
Barret was soon outrunning and dodging the flaming arrows flawlessly.  
“With all the strength of a raging fire.”  
Reno eventually managed to chop a block of limestone in half with his face.  
“Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!”


End file.
